Live Your Yoga

There has been a surge of creative energy flowing around me. Around me. Not through me, or even next to me. I have been struggling to stay on top of my health and maintain some semblance of a functioning life and practice. Life and practice. Same thing, right?

I’ve neglected this blog since my injury. It seems that ever since that injury there has been one challenge after another. And the injury, by the way, has still not completely healed.

Further lessons in impermanence and letting go. And going with the flow. Even if it seems I’m stuck at a standstill and cannot quite seem to get my flow flowin’. Whew. To share…

2 days after I injured myself I found out I was pregnant. Though not completely unexpected, it still took us by surprise. And I proceeded to live through the worst bout of nausea known to womankind. I’m sure I’m exaggerating, but it certainly didn’t feel like it. Just as soon as I started to feel like a semi normal human being again, I was stricken with a severe flu that had I gone to a doctor I feel sure I would have been diagnosed with pneumonia, to which I am still recovering.

In all this time my husband has been working compassionately and diligently to hold our household together, while my dearest friends have been working their own magic to help me hold the studio together. I am truly blessed with my support system.

The studio is still functioning, though things have changed dramatically. They’ve had to. The studio is basically a one woman show, and while I’ve been incredibly grateful for my subs and supportive teachers and students, all of the creative and enterprising juju that was planned and needed has been put on hold. Indefinitely.

It seems that One Rhythm is headed in a new direction. What exactly that direction is yet is still to be determined. I only hope that I have the courage and compassion (with myself) to see it through.

Life throws us giant challenges sometimes. What we make of them is hugely dependent on our character, and the love that we have to shine on our way.

As I write this, I am sitting with a castor oil compress on my chest.

At the beginning of last week, I wrote down affirmations. Positive thoughts in the present tense that I would carry with me and repeat through the day. I am a firm believer in affirmations so please do not let my bizarre turn of events dissuade you from setting some of you own. It’s a good thing. It’s a great thing. Try it, you’ll see. The results can be astounding.

A couple examples for you from my own pen:

1. I am whole and healthy. My body, mind and spirit are free of dis-ease.

2. I am an able and confident yoga teacher. I tap intuitively to the knowledge and wisdom that already resides within me.

Alright, here’s the story.

Within an hour of writing these positive little jingles, I’m at work, I do a normal move/turn/shift. Nothing out of the ordinary and “Oooh! Now that didn’t feel good.” It started as just a slight pinch in the center of my chest underneath my sternum followed by a bruised feeling on the outer bone. 3 days later after teaching 2 classes and attempting to attend a 3rd, I ended up spending the entire session in child’s pose (even that being uncomfortable), canceling my evening classes and being as still as possible throughout the weekend.

Come Monday (now 6 days later) knowing I could not cancel class or get out of my other job, I tried to take it as easy as possible. Mind you, the pain has continued to escalate. It is constant. It hurts to be still, let alone talk or even breathe. I am teaching by instruction only, no demonstrating. I am being mindful of my body’s movement with every step. What I need to be doing is resting, and nothing but. But as those of you with families, homes or jobs that require you to carry on, you’ll know why I cannot just rest. Oh how I want to. Luckily I have a fantastic support group at home (Thank you, beautiful family!) and they take excellent care of me. I am also grateful for my students that allow me to be completely imperfect.

Wow the lessons of impermanence.

I don’t know what I’ve done exactly. The castor oil packs are advice from a holistic body worker and if I am not healing within the next couple of days I’m going in for some touch therapy. Right now it feels as if bones are protruding from my chest, though there is no visible evidence that anything is wrong.

In the meantime, I’m treading carefully.

And I’ve still got those affirmations in my pocket.

Join Manitou Yoga and members of your community to show support for this wonderful cause!

Funny thing happened today.

I released yet another label.

How interesting the ego is. How amusing the small self. (There, there small self. I mean no disrespect.)

I have been known (often) to complain about labels. I feel so boxed in by them. And Goddess forbid someone else label me.

For instance, some such labels by friends and others: Shy. Strong. Brave. Bitch. Young grasshopper. Stuck up. Shining. True. The list goes on. And on. Forever. Some nice and flattering. Others… not so much. For one that runs from labels, I, too, give myself a lot of them. Mother. Wife. Teacher. Writer. Poet. Yogi. Designer. Again, the list goes on.

Some of these titles are obvious, and only too natural. (Well, of course I’m a mother.) Even in my introduction to “me”, the title page that holds this blog, I fill your mind (and my own) with labels. This is who I am. See. This. That. These things. Are me.

Not really.

I have been rebelling against this label thing my whole life. Identifying them with ego, but not fully seeing the action of identifying itself as ego.

Silly girl. Oop. Another one.

Here’s the thing. Labels are not bad. Neither is the ego. There is a comfort in it all. And we humans often rely on our comforts.

There is a Sanskrit mantra: Ham Sa. I am That.

That. Everything. Divine. God. Goddess. Spirit. Every. Thing. That.

It is the label that is absent of labels.

Let the ego play with the irony of that conundrum for a while.

In our physical yoga practice, meaning asana and the awareness and control of breath, we are building pranic energy. Prana. Energy. Life force. As individuals that energy can be a very powerful thing. The more we practice, the more our mind becomes still. The mind becomes still, the pranic energy continues to rise. When we practice in a group, the pranic energy becomes dynamic. We mingle with each other, give and receive of one another. We raise the vibration of our very souls. With these thoughts in mind, we name a Sankalpa, an intention, and we use the energy of our practice to direct that intention.

Now here’s a yogic principle come into play, that of non-attachment. We set our intention, we put our prana behind that intention, we bow our heads on this practice, and then we let it go. It is out there doing its work. And we hold no attachment to the outcome.

"Listen! The wind is rising, and the air is wild with leaves. We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!" ~Humbert Wolfe

How are you feeling as you transition into this darker time? As the Earth begins her gentle descent into the depths of the season, might I suggest you take some time to rest yourself? To reflect and take stock of the fruits of your labor, to slow down, and most importantly, just to be grateful for the love and bounty of your life?

After the Equinox, I felt that Summer wasn’t quite ready to loose its grasp and let Fall roll its way in. Alas, as the days have counted their way into the season, I am reminded again of the rhythmic cycle of life; everything must fall away to rise again. Indeed the morning chill has shown its face and I find myself bundling up and enjoying the transition into Fall.

I move deeply into my yoga practice this time of year. When the darkness pours in, I allow the silence of the season to fill me. When the winter doldrums begin to take hold, I seek the sun. Originally from the Florida coast, our main seasons were Summer and Hurricane. The chill of the occasional cold front came and went, with the excitement of the rare and breathtaking icicle to put many a smile of the child’s face. But it wasn’t until I moved to Colorado that I began to experience the true essence of the Seasons. I feel truly blessed to bear witness and move through the journey of Mother Nature’s cycles.

My yoga practice allows me to connect to these changes on a deeper level. As I move through asana, listening to my breath, feeling the physical heartbeat of my own body, I am reminded that that rhythm is part of the larger rhythm of life on this planet. It is the same heartbeat of Mother Earth.

I invite you to be still, and connect to that magical life force that carries us on, and connects us all… what a gift is it just to breathe.

We are here to inspire, not to compete. That goes for everyone. We were all born for greatness. We have a mutual purpose on this planet. To inspire love. Joy. Respect. In not only our teachings but in our examples. What else do you have better to do with your time than to promote love? It’s in everything you do, if you make it.

When you’re spending time with your children, it is not only what you do with them but what they see you do without them. How better to teach peace than to love your enemy? Because the enemy is an illusion. How can you be an advocate for love if you do not support gay marriage? Or stand in the light of God’s love if you condemn your neighbor for standing in the same light, just under a different name?

We are here to love each other. Trust each other. And look out for each other. We are here to inspire greatness in each other. There is no real controversy at the heart of love. Some of us are slow to learn this fact. It’s part of our journey as humans be-ing. But we will get there. I am seeing it happen more and more each day. Soon we will realize that we are all a part of the same heartbeat.

Be an advocate for love.

I volunteered as a canvas for a body artist friend of mine. It was incredibly liberating and just plain fun! My mat was covered in paint when the shoot was over, but it was totally worth it.

Here are a few shots…

uttanasana

opening to grace

natarajasana

Body artist: Valentina Kai. Find her at www.medicinemuse.com

Photographer: R. Mike Lyons. Find him at www.rmikelyons.com

Working in a women’s boutique has opened my eyes and my heart to the ridiculous amount of self-critical, depressed, body-conscious women out there. And I’ve made it my personal/professional duty when I am in the store to brighten those women’s day, make them smile and give them a little bounce in their step. Even if just for a moment.

Maybe it’s because I have an amazing husband (though once a husband of one of these ladies almost brought me to tears~ even if she didn’t think much of herself, he certainly did), maybe it’s because I have good friends, a great family, or perhaps it has something to do with my yoga practice and seeing the strength and grace in my body. Maybe it’s because of my daughter, and being proud of my body for its capabilities in childbirth and rearing. Maybe it’s because of my spirituality and the fact that I am a visionary of the goddess within. Maybe it’s all these things.

Some may sneer at this wisdom and say, “well of course you feel that way, look at you.” Yeah, so what. Look at me. The only thing that makes us different is how we feel about ourselves and how we feel about other people’s reactions to us. That is all.

Let’s clear something. I am not supporting obesity or the fat, lazy American syndrome (yes, I said it. Sat nam.) I am however supporting a healthy and active lifestyle, self care, and most of all a healthy sense of self worth. And if that self worth comes with 50 extra pounds, then that’s 50 extra pounds of perfection, baby.

So do yourself a favor today, tell yourself your beautiful. And the next woman you see~ remind her that she’s beautiful too!