Live Your Yoga

At the workshop on Sunday, we talked a lot about small self. Unfortunately, most of us know her on a first name basis. She’s the trash talking, flaw emphasizing, ego toting one that looks back at us when we’re brushing our teeth in the morning mirror. She’s the couldn’t have, shouldn’t have, oh no you di-nt kind of girl. The one that doubts. The one that looks around and thinks, I could never be like that, or on the opposite end of the spectrum, thinks that she’s the shit and wants you to know it in an obvious or sneaky coy sort of way. I’m the best, oh look at me, are you looking at me, no don’t look at me, no really, look. The small self stands in fear.

There is no room in my life right now for small self.

Jessica said a wonderful thing. And though she was addressing the entire group of beautiful and amazing women, I felt she was saying exactly what I needed to hear. She was speaking to me. She said it was my duty. My responsibility to share what I’ve learned. She told the story of the sage (hopefully I get this close to right ~ you’ll get the drift) who upon his death was expecting nirvana for all he had learned, and Shiva said to him, in your first life you have learned, in your second life you have learned. Now leaving this third life you have learned. But what have you given? And so he sent the sage back again, and in his fourth life he was a teacher.

I’ve thought about this concept before. And a version of this thought was one that got me on the path of teaching yoga in the first place. I wanted to change the world. And I believed that one way to do that was through yoga. Think about how you feel after your practice. Now think about every single person in the world feeling that same way. Peace? Enlightenment? How about just simple contentment for this moment? I expressed this thought to a friend once, a fellow yoga teacher. And she said something that was so far from my intention, but that affected me none the less. She said that thinking this way was my ego talking. I let that one little sentence dig into my small self. And it dug deep. But it’s finding its way back to the surface . That sense of affecting change. And now it’s even more profound because now, it’s my duty.

One week ago Sunday, my husband and I signed a lease to open a permanent location for One Rhythm Yoga. Since the Wednesday before that, when I was first considering the possibility, small self took up residency. We did everything together, and my husband was getting pretty annoyed when she kicked the covers off at night. At times, my whole self, my divine self, the part of me that KNOWS, well, she’d take over the situation in her firm voice. You know, the mother tone. And I would remember. I would remember. And I am back to the lesson of the daisy and that of my underlying strength. It’s there. And this space didn’t come to me for anything remotely having to do with my ego. I was not looking to open up a yoga studio. But then it was there, and God said, “Look Brandi. Now what will you DO with it?”

I have spent the last 13 years of my life learning what it takes to be yoga. I suppose technically I’ve spent the last 31. And I will spend the rest of this lifetime continuing that process. But here begins something new. Now I commit to being a teacher. Yes, I have been teaching. But I have never allowed myself to fully commit to it. Not really. Something happened. I discovered my duty.

I will not be surprised when small self peeks her little head in the doorway. Oh, yes, she’s a persistent little devil. I will not be surprised when she invites herself in for tea. But let me tell you friends, (and small self you best be listenin’ girl), after those lemon scones, she’s outta here. (says I in my best mama tone).

...they are a comin'

What a glorious afternoon in Colorado. After record heats the last few days, I awoke to overcast skies and now enjoy mild sunshine with gentle breezes. Oh yes. Glorious indeed.

I wanted to share my morning class with you, as it has sent me smiling into the world and I’m sure will carry with me throughout my day. First off, to “invoke” via dictionary.com:

Wow. That’s a lot to take in. Yet, that is exactly what I asked of my students this morning. That they call to heart the word, and ask what it meant for them. I then read them the short definition as presented by good 0l’ webster: to address or call upon in prayer. With that in mind, I expressed my desire as a teacher to share with them that our bodies are our prayers. Whether we hold religion, spirituality, or just a simple faith that we are alive on this Earth, we can all benefit from a moment of prayer, a moment of communion.

So as we sat through our pranayama practice, as we experienced those first movements into our vinyasas, we prayed. We prayed with our bodies. And though some may not have gotten it, I think that as they continue with their practice, they will. Your yoga may start out as something physical. It may start out as something that you do because you have tight hamstrings, or tension in your shoulders. It is my belief, though not imposed, that through a regular asana practice you begin to discover the spirit of yoga. You begin to peel into the layers of your own divine nature.

Let me tell you a secret:

We all need to be reminded sometime. I think coming to your mat is an excellent way to remember.

My favorite girl humored me with her camera skills. Check it.

adho mukha svanasana

trikonasana

trikonasana

utthita tadasana

salute!

utthita tadasana

om namah shivaya

advadanta sirsasana

surrender

balasana

I just taught my last class at Om and Garden… unbeknownst to us all when we began our practice this afternoon.

During Savasana I received a message from Kim telling me that the closing ceremony would be Monday night. As I sat there in quiet meditation, evening out my breath to that of my students, I grew profoundly grateful. I could not think of a more lovely group of women to share this with than those that lay before me now…

At closing prayer, I told them the news and how happy I was to know them. I know that they’ll come to my classes elsewhere. But there was something about the space we shared and the energy we created at Om and Garden. I’ll miss it. And I know they’ll miss it too.

To those students and friends, old and new, that shared your time, energy and love at that studio: Thank you so much for allowing me the grace of your spirits. I am honored by each one of you.

With the deepest gratitude, }♥{

~Brandi

One of my students brought me a dozen eggs today in lieu of payment. The eggs came from her very own chickens. Does it get any better than that? I think not.

Here’s the thing. At least, it’s the thing for me. A yoga class that lasts about an hour and fifteen, generally feels like at least 3 hours for the teacher. Not in a bad way. It’s just the energy expenditure that goes into it. So after a day of teaching 2 or 3 classes, I am absolutely exhausted. On top of that, I also used to spend way too much time planning my classes. You know, this particular sequence for the warm up, this pranayama exercise, this reading. W2 to W1 to Parvrita Trikonasana… and on and on and on.

I don’t plan my classes anymore. I made a comment to my husband this morning while gathering my belongings for class and my daughter for school, that it was good that I didn’t plan my classes anymore, otherwise I wouldn’t have time for anything else. Yes, this was an exaggeration. And yes, I do still plan my classes occasionally. When I mentioned this to Niko this morning, and also asked if it was terrible that I didn’t, he made a good point: if I take the time to plan, and then my student base is completely different than the class I originally intended, well, what really is the point? That is the point.

When I was in teacher training, the instructor said this: There is the class you plan to teach, the class you actually teach, and then the class you wish you would have taught. God was she right.

This is something that you learn only by practice. When you’re fresh out of teacher training, you spend countless hours with your pen and paper, your notes, your mat. You work on perfecting your class design. It’s necessary. Eventually, you begin to figure out that even without the plan, everything will be alright.

So when I got to class this morning, intending to at least make some sort of standing practice sequence, in walked 2 new students. The first, with a recently broken wrist, in therapy, and having only practiced yoga by video and not for a number of years. The second (husband of first) had been to yoga classes about a decade ago, and had no admitted experience. He asked if it was necessary that he take his shoes off.

So here is where my husband’s point was proven. I had to throw everything out the window. Here was my vinyasa class, minus the downdog, updog, and absolutely everything that puts pressure on the wrists. As well as most of the flow in itself, as I was breaking down most of the poses to allow for complete comprehension. The class turned into a beginner’s foundation. It was fun, and a great lesson for me as a teacher.

My noon class turned out to be equally spontaneous. With only 2 students, and both regulars, it allowed for a nice environment of intimacy. On top of that, we spent the first ten minutes or so chatting and giggling, our own brand of yoga. I practiced through most of the class with them, and used my own body to guide our next move. That is the real vinyasa, right? Letting the breath guide the body into its perfect form.

So the day was a great reminder that, once again, everything will be okay. There is no reason to doubt, or panic, if you don’t have the perfect class plan mapped out with extensive detail… Chill. And let the flow begin.

I’ve decided to start focusing on themes in my classes. A new project, if you will. Inspired by my “Grace Cards” by Cheryl Richardson, I’m going to pick a card a week and focus on that specifically for all 6 classes, with slight variation of course.

For example, this week I pulled “Mindfulness”. I’ll present the term as a thought process and allow students to come up with their own idea of what it is for them. The cards have a passage on the back, but I think I’ll leave that out so that each student can access their own imagination.

And on the subject, I want to be more mindful of bringing those things I care most about back into my classes. Also those things that I am still learning. I cannot let my teaching get stagnant with the same ol’ class plan time after time. I have to continue to stay inspired as a teacher, and as a student.

Peace & love, y’all.

In Feb. of 2008, Joy and Rodney’s 3 year old son Dominic got the flu with the rest of the family. Shortly thereafter, he started regressing, and eventually lost almost all of his speech. After nearly a year of doctor appointments, speech therapy, occupational therapy, CT, MRI, hearing scans… a local pediatric neurologist said to them, “This is Autistic Regression Syndrome, and we’re seeing it in a lot in young children after viruses. The only thing you can do is ABA [Applied Behavior Analysis] therapy”. Knowing that their insurance specifically excluded ABA therapy (and, in fact, any therapy related to the diagnosis of Autism), they asked the doctor to make the formal diagnosis Aphasia in the hopes of getting some treatment covered by insurance. This spring they found Alpine Autism Center, a local Colorado Springs ABA therapy center, and made the decision to put all they had in savings towards getting Dominic the therapy (at $2300/mo for half days), with the prayer to Spirit that should Dominic need additional therapy beyond what they could afford that the money come for what he needs. Joy and Rodney are also pursuing alternative biomedical treatment for Dominic that has helped him greatly. It is expected that Dominic will need ABA therapy for at least another year, and as of the end of July it does not appear that insurance will be covering any of it. So Joy and Rodney are continuing the ask Spirit for the money to be made available, and part of doing that is providing a way for people to give. Should insurance cover any, excess will be donated directly to Alpine Autism Center’s operating fund (they are a 501,c,3 non profit and are doing amazing things for the children that no one else seems to be able to help). To learn about Dominic’s journey, and how you can help, please visit their family blog.