Live Your Yoga

I just taught my last class at Om and Garden… unbeknownst to us all when we began our practice this afternoon.

During Savasana I received a message from Kim telling me that the closing ceremony would be Monday night. As I sat there in quiet meditation, evening out my breath to that of my students, I grew profoundly grateful. I could not think of a more lovely group of women to share this with than those that lay before me now…

At closing prayer, I told them the news and how happy I was to know them. I know that they’ll come to my classes elsewhere. But there was something about the space we shared and the energy we created at Om and Garden. I’ll miss it. And I know they’ll miss it too.

To those students and friends, old and new, that shared your time, energy and love at that studio: Thank you so much for allowing me the grace of your spirits. I am honored by each one of you.

With the deepest gratitude, }♥{

~Brandi

I had two phenomenal classes on Friday. Different venues, different students, different atmospheres. Both however, had amazing energy! Jai! I was so elevated from those classes. The experience and sacred sharing that can happen during yoga is endless.

It’s the energy of my students and the energy we build together. They are wonderful. We do not just share as teacher/student and the practice of asana. We share life. We share precious moments of intimacy. We share the blessing of simply being together.

I end every class with a message of gratitude for my students. And I mean it deeply every time.

photo courtesy of Simon Andrews

Om and Garden is closing. The first yoga studio I officially taught at in Colorado Springs. I’m torn by it. I love that little studio. We’ve been through a lot together. My energy, and that of my students, have helped to create that sacred space. And it is sacred. Everything will be fine, though. Kim is making the right decision for herself, and I honor her for that. I know how difficult it is to let go of such a monumental part of your life. And I expect she’ll go through a grieving process. (Lucky for her, she gets to go through that process in Hawaii ) I had considered taking over the studio, and perhaps getting a few more teachers in there. But the rent is just too high to take on as a commitment. I’m very serious about the commitments I make. That’s why I make so few of them.

All will be well. Someone will come along to create their own brand of magic in the space. And I’m sure that they’ll be grateful to be there. As was I. In the meantime, I’ll continue to teach elsewhere. They don’t have quite the same feel, but I’m continually thankful that the spaces exist, so that those who come seeking can find (hopefully) what they’re looking for.

I’m subbing a last minute class tonight for a friend. I had planned on having an evening at home with the family and some quiet time with the moon. It’s full tonight. But I figured, a little yoga thrown in the mix can only love it up that much more.

So I suppose my lesson for the day is this: Embrace change. Whether it’s coming up or happening right now, this moment.

Be in it. Breathe in it. And find the bliss in it.

Peace out, y’all.

Here’s the thing. At least, it’s the thing for me. A yoga class that lasts about an hour and fifteen, generally feels like at least 3 hours for the teacher. Not in a bad way. It’s just the energy expenditure that goes into it. So after a day of teaching 2 or 3 classes, I am absolutely exhausted. On top of that, I also used to spend way too much time planning my classes. You know, this particular sequence for the warm up, this pranayama exercise, this reading. W2 to W1 to Parvrita Trikonasana… and on and on and on.

I don’t plan my classes anymore. I made a comment to my husband this morning while gathering my belongings for class and my daughter for school, that it was good that I didn’t plan my classes anymore, otherwise I wouldn’t have time for anything else. Yes, this was an exaggeration. And yes, I do still plan my classes occasionally. When I mentioned this to Niko this morning, and also asked if it was terrible that I didn’t, he made a good point: if I take the time to plan, and then my student base is completely different than the class I originally intended, well, what really is the point? That is the point.

When I was in teacher training, the instructor said this: There is the class you plan to teach, the class you actually teach, and then the class you wish you would have taught. God was she right.

This is something that you learn only by practice. When you’re fresh out of teacher training, you spend countless hours with your pen and paper, your notes, your mat. You work on perfecting your class design. It’s necessary. Eventually, you begin to figure out that even without the plan, everything will be alright.

So when I got to class this morning, intending to at least make some sort of standing practice sequence, in walked 2 new students. The first, with a recently broken wrist, in therapy, and having only practiced yoga by video and not for a number of years. The second (husband of first) had been to yoga classes about a decade ago, and had no admitted experience. He asked if it was necessary that he take his shoes off.

So here is where my husband’s point was proven. I had to throw everything out the window. Here was my vinyasa class, minus the downdog, updog, and absolutely everything that puts pressure on the wrists. As well as most of the flow in itself, as I was breaking down most of the poses to allow for complete comprehension. The class turned into a beginner’s foundation. It was fun, and a great lesson for me as a teacher.

My noon class turned out to be equally spontaneous. With only 2 students, and both regulars, it allowed for a nice environment of intimacy. On top of that, we spent the first ten minutes or so chatting and giggling, our own brand of yoga. I practiced through most of the class with them, and used my own body to guide our next move. That is the real vinyasa, right? Letting the breath guide the body into its perfect form.

So the day was a great reminder that, once again, everything will be okay. There is no reason to doubt, or panic, if you don’t have the perfect class plan mapped out with extensive detail… Chill. And let the flow begin.

Annoyed. Bothered. Quite honestly on the edge of absolute pissiness.

What brings me to these feelings of negativity, you ask? Oh yogini of gratitude?

Need I say more?

Daylight savings time.

I’ve been dreading it for weeks. Compiling this momentum of passionate frustration into imaginary letters to my government officials. Knowing that it was going to come, and at least for this time around, that I wasn’t going to be able to do a damn thing about it.

Last night I agreed to fill in a last minute class this morning. I agreed, forgetting that I’d be waking up an hour earlier, before the sun had even made his appearance. I wasn’t upset so much about the loss of that hour of sleep, I was upset that it was so unnecessary. I was upset because once again, some other force, that of the material, not natural world, is trying to undermine the beautiful and rhythmic flow of Mother Nature.

Why?! So we’ll have longer daylight hours. Well here’s the thing. We do not have more daylight. Just because you “take a foot off the top of the blanket and sew it to the bottom, doesn’t mean you have a longer blanket”. Just because you change our clocks, hoping that we’ll use that extra hour to go spend our money on unnecessary frivolities, or you think you’re “conserving” energy by allowing us to think it’s 8:00 when in fact it’s 7. Maybe we won’t turn on our lights until later? No. But we’ll leave them on just as long as we did before. Because our bodies are trying to listen to the cycles of the earth- not your damn regulatory control on our pocketbooks.

And thank you for taking away my precious morning sunrise, as I send my daughter off to school just past the break of dawn…

Stop.

Breathe.

When I got to the studio this morning I carried with me my frustration. Before my students arrived, I sat on my mat and took in my breath deep from my belly. I filled my heart with that breath and used it to relax my shoulders. I felt the sensations in my body and mind. I watched the motions of my thoughts as they bickered back and forth, between steadiness and chaos and allowed this all to happen without judgment. When my students arrived, they too were experiencing frustration, so we let ourselves express our feelings- and as a group agreed to allow our practice to melt away that tension and lift us up above and beyond the constraints of time.

By the end of class, we all felt much lighter.

So yes, my breath and my practice helped me move through the matter with more grace, but I am still frustrated with the system itself.

I understand that because I live and function in society, I have to follow the rules. I have to get my daughter to school on time, show up for work, and make my scheduled appointments. In order to do this, I need to let go and flow. While some people will feel like they’ve gained something by setting their clocks ahead, I feel like I’ve lost something…

And while some people might feel that I am overreacting or expressing too much rage on the subject, oh yogini of gratitude, I feel like I’m honoring my path and living my yoga. To hold back emotion, when it is not necessarily harmful to others, is to suppress the self. I am breathing. I am carrying on.

Kripalu yoga teaches brilliantly: Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch, Allow.

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